Look Up Child
“Where are you now when darkness seems to win? Where are you now when the world is crumbling? Oh I hear you say, look up child.”
Why do we make complicated what is actually pretty darn easy? I will speak for myself when I say it is easy to sit and dwell on how things should be or what they aren’t. I sit and let anxiety rule over my body until I have a physical response to it. I ask others for prayer without actually praying myself. Matthew 11:28 couldn’t say it more clearly, “come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” WHAT? Like why do I ignore that, that is a truth that I know. I have heard that verse so many times and yet I still seek everything else sometimes. I have literally cried on the bathroom floor or in my closet sobs that make my body sore because I am tired, and weary. Could it all have been eased by just talking to God?
Ever since losing our son I made a promise to myself that I never wanted to be the same again. I have been on this journey of becoming a healthier me, not just for me but in return to be a better wife and a better mom. There are lots of ways to help us be healthier mind body and spirit and I will talk more about those things as they arise but none of it matters if we aren’t first putting our eyes and hearts on Christ. I love the way I feel after being faithful to an exercise routine. I love the way I feel when I walk into a clean house, and I don’t have laundry piling up everywhere. I love when I have time to cook healthy meals for my family (even if they complain all the way through dinner). However, if I am honest, none of those things have fulfilled me the way digging into Gods word, his TRUTH. The number one thing I learned from counseling was that when my brain started to spiral or I was feeling big feelings, I needed to ask myself ok now what do I know to be true? You see our feelings are valid, we have real fears about the what ifs, or the hurts we are experiencing. We have real anger towards experiences going on with family or friends or coworkers. We have real highs and real lows. But at the end of the day we have to ask ourselves if our feelings are true. Just because feelings are real doesn’t mean they are true. I can feel abandoned and lonely, I can feel betrayed about something said about me, but when I ask myself what is true I find this. Yes, I feel lonely, but I have a father in heaven who asks me to lay my burdens at his feet and rest with him, I have a husband who loves me, I have children who are always up for a snuggle, I have friends and other family who have always been there when I truly needed them. Maybe I feel lonely because of this one person or situation but look at the truth of all these other people who I know love and care about me. I can have real feelings about the what ifs of one of us falling sick to illness and dying. I mean come on this is like every mothers top worry right? What do I know to be true? Yes, this might happen, but I have no control over it, none. I do my best to be healthy and have to leave the rest at God’s feet knowing even if it does happen God is good and He loves me and He will see me through. “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” Zephaniah 3:17 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” 1 John 4:18
I will write about a lot of different things on this blog, but if you get nothing else from it please get this…none of it matters without letting God in. Start your day with truth. It isn’t a fix all believe me. Even on the days I start my day right I still end up doing a lot of things I’m not proud of. But it does help. It helps by keeping my perspective right. I am beautifully broken and I need Jesus.