Holiday Overwhelm
Here we go! 4 more Fridays until Christmas. Maybe for you, this season is filled with wonder and delight. Time with family that brings comfort and peace. Your home might be fully decorated already and you’re sipping your coffee in the morning in front of your lit up tree. Singing along to JJ Heller’s “Christmas is Here” you have a quietness in your soul and live in the fullness of who Jesus is and what that means for us. You are ready to adore him and are here for it. I am not there yet, but that is the place I hope to be someday. Maybe you are dreading the season. It might feel too busy, too much. The time with family might be a little less comforting and a little more draining and you are counting down the days until it is over. For some, when you get ready to gather around the table or purchase gifts you can only see the place setting that’s missing, or the gifts you don’t get to purchase for a loved one because they are no longer here.
I feel a little of all the above. The holidays are a bit harder for me than I would like. I often put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure I do all the things and check all the boxes so my kids have the memories they deserve, but my heart is not fully present, and I do not hide it as well as I think. My heart aches that my family is not all here this side of heaven. It is a reminder of the pain I felt that first Christmas after my son died. Christmas has never quite been the same. I miss my family back home more around these months and am sad my kids don’t get the big crazy chaotic Christmas day with their cousins and other family. It is grieving what should have been and the reality of having divorced parents. I lost my grandpa a couple years ago and the pain of his death still stings so much. I choked back tears the other day as I picked out some small items to put in a shoebox to send overseas to children in need. I am so blessed with so much and yet my focus always seems to be on what I don’t have. Some lights and a little Christmas music doesn’t fix the parts of me that ache but the comfort of Jesus does. The comfort of salvation, relationship with the God who created me, hope in a weary world, and peace that surpasses all understanding.
I used to hate Christmas music; it was just all the same old boring songs. I never understood why we just kept singing them. After losing Josiah, the lyrics hit different. There were so many truths about Christ tucked away in those familiar words that I took for granted. My need for Jesus was so much greater than it had ever been so the celebration of His birth and what that truly meant for me was cause for so much more celebration that I had ever given it. Last year I really focused on the truths laced into those songs. As I gear up for this season, I am making it a priority to focus on these truths so I can enjoy this season once again. I want to be able to rest in His goodness and unconditional love. Love so great He sent us Jesus. The light of the world.
These are the truths I am focusing on this year, maybe these will be good reminders for you too or maybe you have a few of your own that need your focus. I encourage you to find some time to rest this season and find a way to embrace the good. It is ok to hold both the pain of the season and the beauty. Links to some of my favorite Christmas songs are below as well!
His name is Emmanuel: God is with us.
Matthew 1:23.
O come, Thou Dayspring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death's dark shadows put to flight
He is the song for the suffering
He is Messiah, the Prince of Peace
Has come, He has come
Emmanuel
The best gift I can give to my family is my attention and love
Little Drummer Boy (Listen here)
Little baby
I am a poor boy too
I have no gift to bring
That's fit to give our King
Shall I play for you?
Mary nodded
The ox and lamb kept time
I played my drum for Him
I played my best for Him
His gospel is peace.
I heard the bells on Christmas day (Listen here)
And in despair I bowed my head
"There is no peace on Earth," I said
For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on Earth, good will to men
But the bells are ringing (peace on Earth)
Like a choir singing (peace on Earth)
Does anybody hear them? (Peace on Earth)
Peace on Earth, good will to men
Then rang the bells more loud and deep
God is not dead, nor doth He sleep
(Peace on Earth)
(Peace on Earth)
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on Earth, good will to men
A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices
Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His gospel is peace;
Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother,
And in His name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy name;
He is the source of joy.
Let no sins and sorrows grow
Nor thorns infest the ground
He makes His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found
Rejoice the Savior reigns
Let us our songs employ
While fields and floods
And rocks and plains
Repeat the sounding joy
It’s not about me.
Oh come let us adore him (oh come all ye faithful)
O sing hallelujah
He alone is worthy
Behold him (franscesca Battistelli)
Some years, it's wonder and lights in the sky
Some years, it's okay to cry
In your silent night
When you're not alright
Lift your eyes and behold him
Feel the thrill of hope
You are not alone
In this moment, behold him